Shame on You

I’m as mad as a wrongly shot dog, I think I can fill the entire city with molten lava and create a massive tsunami that reaches the other side of the Pacific. This is so unfair, I’ve been working my arse off against the clock lately like a total mind-altered freak because of some lost balls in the high weeds. GOSH! We are having audits here and there for both quality and security standards, and everyone is practically consumptive.

Can you please tell me if I’m just over reacting or maybe I’m just having a high regard for myself, the past months, everyone has been sitting idly or maybe not everyone, maybe its just me, let’s be honest (ALRIGHT) I won’t speak for anyone but myself. Yes, the past few months, I’d been sitting idly, not because I was lazy, but how can you expect me to work if there is no work. Suddenly, now that we are facing these internal audits, everyone is consumed and Emails are practically flying everywhere. Yesterday, I needed to register some documents so in result, I had to Email people and ask for conclusive response. It is imperative that they send their response in a prompt manner because time is of the essence.

The big cheese instructed me to subsequently call them for a follow up otherwise I won’t get a response if I only rely on E-mail. BOOM! I’m like WHAT? As if some bomb exploded right in front of me, I was strucked by terror. I reckoned, aren’t we provided with this E-mail thing for fast and timely correspondence, then why the hell do we have to use the effing phone for follow up, if we have written a concise E-mail stipulating everything that the recipients need to do and and they know deeply that it is of great importance and all they have to do is to be decisive and revert the effing Email to where it came from. Is that too difficult to manage? That’s just undoubtedly stupid.

Are you one of those people who dont respond to Emails and you wait for a stupid follow up phone call before you do something about it? Well, if you are one of them then shame on you. Don’t be an employee, people like you should not work, you should just stay at home and pick your nose the whole day or better yet, make your lousy brain rot for all I care, you will surely be useful there than spend your time in an office and ruin other people’s lives or wait, do you even have a brain? Do you really think we are that stupid? I’ve seen it from my inbox that you have read the Email since I had my read receipt turned on. If you need time to be able to focus more then tell me. You can send me an Email like this “I will need more time to review this but I will definitely get back to you not later than (state your date), but don’t leave me hanging and trying to squeeze blood from a turnip and then when I give you a call, you’ll respond. I’m so browned off, I’m in too much dread thinking that I will have to spend two more weeks in this sense-forsaken place.

Today

Wow, time flies… really. It’s 11th of November and we have 43 days before Christmas. This is a sluggish Tuesday for me, everything is slow and as I gaze upon the ground from the 42nd floor of this building, I can see a thick cloud of smog surrounding the entire city. My day started with annoyance once again, GOSH, whatever you do, there will always be people who can ruin your day in a snap.

I was on my way to work, I was sitting on the rear part of the FX (shuttle service) and as most of you know, it should be seated by four people, so can you imagine if each of those four, weighs a minimum of 160 lbs., can you get the picture, I’m not saying I weigh 160 lbs though, LOL of course I weigh lesser than that. Anyway, so there were four of us sitting on that area and three of us were squashed terribly to hell. Only God knows how we suffered from back aches, sore shoulders and legs and feet pains. However, there was this one guy who was sitting in the corner beside me, his long legs were spread like someone is going to eat between those legs and his heavy and broad shoulders were resting like he’s on his own private vehicle. The lady in the other corner had asked him to move a little bit, so she can sit better but he didn’t do anything.

GOSH why do inconsiderate people exist. To my utter annoyance, I frantically bumped him with my shoulder and so he realized that he needed to move and he was enlightened. He fixed his posture and I exclaimed “HAY SALAMAT” (THANK YOU), and everyone was happy.

Dear You

I want to explode now with the recent change which rapidly took place, I think I have used up all of my energy to somehow fathom every single thing but today is different, I have done my best to pair my every ounce of understanding with clemency just to avoid this long kept lump of bile that I have surreptitiously placed in a compartment of my brain, where no one can find it and I hope that no one would ever serve as a trigger for it to come out, and blow things out of proportion because seriously neither me nor you don’t want it to happen. But it seems like I’m losing it. I’ve got so much stuff in my hands now but It seems like I can hardly take a grip of them…they are fleeting…some are like bubbles with indefinite shapes and sizes, for a moment they are alive but at an instant they burst and gone away in a blink of an eye.

I have always wanted a big change in my life, I’ve been fed up and pretty much burned out by the routines chronically laid out for me, it is becoming insurmountable. And to my musing, I’ve asked God if this is the change that I’ve longed for and I have asked for reasons why am I in this horizon. Whatever is the reason, I’m sure I’ll figure it out in due time. Meanwhile, I will subjugate the change, this is my very own battle to win, I will face it with every ounce of fortitude and faith.

Sometimes I wonder if I just like injecting hyperbole in my thoughts or maybe I’m just a whiner. But no, certainly not, I must admit that sometimes I’m incoherent but that doesnt make me a whiner or someone who likes to immerse in nothing but pure malarkey. I’m a 25 year old, I’m not a kid anymore I have no time for idiocy, I’ve got enough on my plate and I have a life. This is where procrastination comes in – when you’ve got enough on your plate and you can do nothing because things have the uncanny ability to not go where you want them to be and it seems that the only resort you have on hand is to procrastinate and wait for the auspicious time.

I wanna go home for Christmas its been over a year since I’ve visted home, I miss my folks and my friends in the fervent city. But it seems that I can’t go home because…………….because………….because……………………. arrrrrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhh. You might not understand what I’m talking about, I wish I can tell you detail by detail but I need to protect myself and so are the others, Im just lucky that I have found an orifice through this writing. But if you do get what I’m saying then Thank You. With all that’s been said – Its time to get my arse in gear.

Today’s MANTRA – I love my self, I love my self, I love my self, I love my self

My Friday Vent

 

 

It’s kind of wrong to vent on a Friday as Friday is supposed to be a fabulous and a spectacular day, at least for me. It is a day of gladness and pure fun. It is a day filled with looking-forward-to-embrace-the-weekend mood. A day of relief thinking that you are almost on the halt of drowning yourself from vexation and crappy hours at work. Friday means dress down day which is tantamount to expressing your innermost self in a form of aesthetic escapade, glamorous style or whatever suits you. Friday also means that you can get out of the office a little early so you can meet some friends, dine, hang out and unwind with them to a fabulous and fun spree places. To some, Friday is a DATE day. To others, Friday can be mezmerizing as you can stay up late, spend it on movie marathon with a bowl of pop corn while cuddling with your boyfriend/girlfriend or simply just spend it with your beautiful self. Today however, I just have to vent. WHY? Please see below:

 

1. My younger sister was rushed to the hospital last night due to bad stomach, fever and vomitinig. The doctors suspected that she was having Appendicitis turns out she has Amoebiasis. It caused a hysterical commotion in the entire family especially my mom who is suffering from hypertension. Its really hard living away from them. Tsk tsk

 

2. I’ve sent an email to all the Systems Managers in all facilities requiring them to send a sign off on the recent change that we have made on a certain policy, so I can reflect the change accordingly, out of seven I only got two responses so far. So I decided to bug them everyday, and today I sent another email asking them to send their respective sign offs as two of them have already agreed and guess what, someone has responded. I guess I will have to do this every single day until I get a response from all of them. Jeez so now you know how adventurous it is to work here? GOSH!

 

3. I’m in the midst of completing my Excel practice test and suddenly an error popped. I was a little slow to apprehend so I failed to read the freaking error and I hurriedly clicked on OK and then BOOM! everything was gone, which means I have to start all over again. So I started again but the bloody thing came back. What do you want me to do? Start all over again? Dammit! ARRRGH!

 

4. I miss the company of my “real friends”. Lately, I’ve been alone. Where are you bitches? Mayank is probably too busy with himself or who knows maybe he is devastatingly affected by the US economy recession, but how would I know, he never responds to any medium of communication I have used just to reach him. SU is out of the country for vacation so its ok, I understand. Dawn is too in love and preoccupied with Jaimie, she’s too incoherent to listen to me, but its ok I have a big heart to understand. Aldolito has to stay at home, he needs to get well and thats the most important thing to me.

 

5. I miss my lover RAIN. Where are you, I need you to pour and touch my soul once again. I’m draining….fill me……Mr. SUN is a little harsh lately, his scorching UV rays get on my nerves. Where are you my lover, come and see me in the meadow of our dazzling abode. My life had been swirly lately with bits and pieces of shrapnel that languidly eats my fortitude. Please console me.

Manic Yesterday

I stood up from my workstation at 6:55 PM last night and walked to the computer where the logs are gathered I typed in my ID and hit LOG OUT and then to my utter disbelief I stared at the computer once again to make sure I have typed the correct ID, and yes it is correct but the error was still there showing idly “YOU CAN’T LOG OUT BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT LOGGED IN”. Do you know what does this mean? It means that I have to file for my timesheet and have it approved from my two superiors and subsequently forward it to HR for another approval – approval from HR will take a minimum of three emails just to make a follow up, if I won’t bug them and get on their nerves they will never take any immediate action. I remember I have forwarded this exact message for three times just so I could get a response “Please let me know if my timesheet has been approved”. So sick sick sick. I’m starting to think that their previous jobs are from a filthy government office where they do nothing but chitchat and wait for lunchtime so they can sleep, pick their noses or whatever the hell do they indulge their pathetic selves, GOSH!

 

——

 

After a brief episode of vexation, I got out of the building and walked to Greenbelt 3 or 4 Oh I’m not sure lol, Greenbelt can be confusing sometimes I can hardly identify 3 from 4, although I’m pretty sure its just me who is having this difficulty. Anyway. I entered Abenson Avant and looked for a new set of headphones and mic as I need it pretty badly. WHY? Because. There are a lot of odd things that have happened lately particularly in my family. My long lost cousin has shockingly contacted everyone in the family, well she’s not really lost its just that she had lose touch to each and everyone of us a long time ago like I say maybe 3 -4 years back, i’m not sure if its long enough although it seems to me that it was a long long time ago because it feels like it, sometimes people can make you feel like this – the last time you have spoke to each other was like 3 years ago but to you it feels like centuries. Anyway. Knowing her, she’s not internet savvy nor deeply anxious to whatever is happening to the family but shockingly and suddenly she is concerned. I got an email from her saying that she has a webcam and a mic and she is ready to talk via yahoo messenger if I have the time. For three consecutive days until today we’ve been talking day and night; so now you know why I had to get that mic set. Another thing is, just when I was thinking about possible ways on how to make more money BOOM!!! the answer is laid out on me in a form of an email once again – one of my previous clients contacted me and offered me another writing, translation and podcasting freelance work. So thats another reason why I needed the mic set. GOD IS GREAT INDEED.

 

——

 

Going back to Abensons Avant. After testing my fabulous mic set, I hurriedly got my receipt and hit off the door. As I walked through the door, I was busy responding to Garnet’s message, we were supposed to go to the church together but he has this habit of changing his mind at the very last minute everytime arrrrgggggggh….I was walking parallel to BodyShop which is the second store next to Abensons Avant when I suddenly remembered that the guard from Abensons Avant politely bade “Thank You Maam” when I darted at the door. I realized, my behavior was utterly not acceptable and it was very mean of me not to even consider on acknowledging his amiable way of courtesy in a form of a response to “Thank You” which is “You’re Welcome” or if I was too busy I should’ve just gave him a smile, after all, he’s been standing there for nearly 9 hours just for a little consolation of a minimum wage. For the first time in my life that I felt so bad like that, although that was not the first time that I have ignored someone like him I’ve been doing it to anyone who wishes me courtesy when I hit off the door of a store or a mall. Today however and onwards; I know what to do.

My Time is Gold

Every day I sit here in front of my ill-favored, inutile computer pretending to be busy and oh gee vexation is getting the better of me, I seriously need some help. I would normally start my day by reading my E-mail then I’ll proceed on completing my day-to-day deliverables or ad hoc requests, and I would subsequently knock myself out in boredom or slacking. Most of the time, I engross myself into reading just almost anything I could find in the internet like a maniac just so I could pretend that I’m busy otherwise somebody’s ass will be shoved up with a banana. Why am I wasting my precious time with sluggish people. I’m drowning in exasperation, I want to be out of the door soon.

Poverty – what is the cure?

I am irrefutably crestfallen with the underlying poverty scene in the country. I happened to watch a poignant episode of The Correspondents last week entitled “MANINIMA” – it moved me in a somber way that now I am finding myself eliciting sympathy by writing this entry. The documentary underscores the poverty-stricken families in Pampanga whose lives depend on a limited number of leftover mud crabs and prawns that they could catch in a nearby private fishpond.

Brgy. Sagrada, Masantol Pampanga considering its geographical location – it is close to Manila bay and it is along the shores of Pampanga river –  harbors quite a number of mud crab farms. These mud crabs are harvested after reaching its marketable size, the owner then would invite the neighboring people (maninima) to catch the leftover. The film showed a family of maninima composed of a father and his five juvenile sons, who compelled by indigence have to wake up at dawn, walk a few miles and start a strenous day of catching mud crabs. Some of these kids do go to school but constrained by the fact that they have to have the necessities of life; they would rather ask their teacher to allow them to get excused from class just so they could help their parents catch crabs. The stern reality of life has deprived these children to experience childhood.

The average catch per day is from six – eight mud crabs and would cost PhP300 which would then be used to buy their food for the entire day. There are times when competition is stiff or caused by inevitable circumstances, they couldn’t sell their catch, they would simply trade it off with any food just to fill their stomachs and yes they are literally down-and-out. The place is not as far as you think it is, as it is only two hours away from Manila but consider the treacherous, long, muddy, unpaved road to reach Brgy. Sagrada you would think that it is far-flung and out-of-the-way. The place has one hospital with barely seen one doctor and a resident has to spend PhP200 on transportation just to go to a neighboring town to get grocery supplies or visit a doctor.

Hunger is a ramification of poverty and surely Brgy. Sagrada is not the only place in the Philippines grieving for such dysphoric situation. I wonder, what has government given in the last considerable years to help these people? Is it that hard to reach out to our poor brothers and sisters who spent all their lives finding food for subsistence. The government has proudly announced that they have built the first elevated Uturn slot in the Philippines along C5 Kalayaan, when in fact there is no need in building it as it made the lives of every citizen who passes through the said highway worst because of unbearable traffic. You would understand what I mean if you come and take a look at it. They should’ve spent all that money they spent for the unsought elevated Uturn slot on building the road to Brgy. Sagrada or wherever else is in dire need.

Frugality – please take over me

 

Expensive food, expensive coffee, expensive books, expensive shoes, expensive clothes, expensive gas, expensive travel, everything is expensive!!! Prices of commodities are remorselessly skyrocketing, where is justice in this? It makes me wonder if the fundamental laws of Economics specifically supply and demand are solely responsible for this or who knows, what else is there to consider. I’m sure that there are a lot of things to consider like trade barriers, futile gorvernment policies, international market, money devaluation, etc..I am not an economist, so it is highly unlikely of me to elicit assumptions but I want to seek answers because it is becoming stringent everyday. The gorvernment is hardly making any move to somehow alleviate the underlying economic crisis or maybe I’m just blind. The government officials are so busy working for their personal interests they forget to serve their purpose. I could go on and on…but ranting and raving over these filthy bastards won’t do any good. One thing for sure though, I will continue to unravel my thoughts whether it is still reasonable to live here considering the seemed imposibility of correcting the wrong practices of everyone, government and people alike. I am so grossed out. With the impending economic disaster that we are going through, the best thing that I can do for now is to be frugal – I should’ve learned how to be one a long long time ago. BILLS, will you just please go away!!!

Are you in need of a fine wine – I’m here

I had to go home early today, because my oh so sweet Aldolito passed me his flu, I guess I’m not bionic after all. LOL But Its all good because I have time for myself now, how I wish to go home as early as 2 PM every single day. After taking a decolgen forte – I thought of updating my blog. Although my energy is declining precipitously like a drained android (We should have a decolgen no-drowse handy here at home) the thought of updating my blog excites me like a maniac. LOL

Today I saw one of my bestfriends – Su – she just arrived from India for a month and a half vacation. It’s great seeing her today, after all she is the only person whom I like in the office. She brought me a crystal bracelet from India, a white flower ring and earrings made of feathers from Bangkok.

I really hate where I’m working now and today I realized that I made a wrong impulsive decision in my career. I shouldve patiently waited…tsk tsk tsk now I’m like stuck in a barrel of wine, I’m a fine wine however and the same group of sucky people are gradually drinking me because they can afford to buy me. I can’t seem to go somewhere else because they just can’t afford me even though I’m so fine they just don’t want to try. I shouldn’t have chosen to be a wine, I should’ve chosen to be a tequila or a beer instead.

I guess its ok, there is a purpose in every decision that we make, perhaps I just cant see it now. But soon eventually I will. I know I’ll be somewhere else better in due time. I’ll be in an evironment conducive to productivity a working environment full of vigor, fun and dynamism. I’ll keep on looking…….

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