Pain

Two Years of pain

 

The other day, Facebook was plagued with my complaints, call it bigotry, I don’t give a finger. I say, blame it on SLEX for not fulfilling its purpose. It’s supposed to be an expressway and not some pathetic road jammed with unrelenting traffic that’s causing people to suffer every single day. It should be called Super Sufferway. And then I was looking at people excavating the road and filling it with asphalt. What the hell! The road is looking neat and pretty decent. Why are you scooping it out? And it’s December, it’s a busy month, haven’t you heard the bells? Or you’re just catching up with the epic tale of filling in your already brimming pockets as the year ends.

 

From insistent traffic jam to people’s insensitivity, my day was ruined at an instant. These GT Express Vans and all the other shuttle operators are excessively getting a lot of money at the expense of passenger’s safety and comfort. A three-seater van is being used to hold four pairs of butts. And you’ll be screaming bloody murder inside your head as you sit on the same row with some bastard who sits as if someone is going to kneel and eat between his legs. More often than not, those who weigh 500 lbs are the ones who dare to slump on the seat. They sit as if no one else is in the car. If you know you are 500 lbs please pay for two.

 

Not to mention a nonfunctional AC that’s supposed to remove heat but the lazy driver/car owner doesn’t want to spend a centavo on it. He would rather see all the passengers drenched in sweat damnation than take his car to the shop. Or worse a nonfunctional AC that spits up with unsolicited water on your face and knees, it makes you want to slit the driver’s throat.

 

GT Express Vans are tools for people who love pain and sacrifices. It can be a haven for sacrificial offering. You can experience intense pain in your lower back and shoulders due to inappropriate sitting position. Imagine sitting using only your left butt and your right leg is carrying half of your body weight. I’m a masochist in many ways. I love inflicting pain on myself by eating super hot chili peppers. I also take pleasure from squeezing my ear (outer ear’s soft tissue – for the lack of term) severely between my thumb and a finger, if my mouth could reach it, I would chew it like a bubble gum. LOL.

 

But not this pain. No freaking way. 

You Are Responsible For Your Growth

Innovative Ways

Today’s ball game in finding work takes you to greater heights and depths, mainly because as time evolves; as technology advances; and as business progresses, the way people think also develops. Do not contain yourself in one place or one career, expand your horizon and maximize the power of your imagination as one day you will find yourself IRRELEVANT. Nowadays, you can make use of the internet to find a job that suits your goal, whether you want to be a part time worker, a full time worker, a freelancer, a full time worker and a freelancer at the same time or even a full time freelancer. There are numerous Job Networking Sites where you can create a profile and upload your resume so that employers who are seeking for the right candidates on the position that they are opening could easily and conveniently match your profile to the qualifications required. Isn’t it great to know that you are only a phone call away or an E-mail away to finding work? Welcome to the 21st century.

 

Work Anywhere

One of the hot topics in Business nowadays is Thought Leadership. To win at the present day’s competition would it be on finding work or in business itself is that you have got to be progressively more distinguished as a thought leader. You might be wondering what is thought leadership. It’s in conversations in which your mind goes to work and thinking is developed. Conversations are the portals to which ideas are generated and made. Thought leadership is paving way to creative and ingenious ideas that shall create far-fetched results along the way. And by thought leadership, you make the process of your thinking come together in different directions to produce innovative ideas. Never fail to capture your ideas. You can produce results and thereby earn money, anywhere you are. Some jobs are being done remotely or at home. You can be sitting in front of your laptop, on your pajamas, in your living room with a box of chocolate chip cookies, and a glass of milk right in front of you while writing an article on Do IT Yourself – Brazilian Wax or you could be managing social networking sites as part of your job tasks. Do not rely your future on Uncle Sam. There is no job in America. The American dream is nothing but a dream setting itself on the road to oblivion. When nurses were in demand, everybody wanted to be a nurse, even some doctors have taken the leap of shifting. Even parents wish nothing but their children working as nurses in the hospitals abroad. The population of nurses are growing, you will even see them answering calls in a call center or worse chopping potatoes in a restaurant. Nowadays, culinary is the new craze. Everyone wants to be in a culinary school. Do not feed your ignorance. Take time to understand what is happening around you. Pepsi is no longer the direct competitor of coke, at least in the Philippines. It’s C2. Machines can replace human workers. Some goods are no longer made in China but made for China. The bottom line is the world is rapidly changing and again, welcome to the 21st century.

 

Thought Leadership is not a distant star

Gone are the days of compelling yourself to wake up at the crack of dawn, catch the train to get to work. Not to mention enclosing yourself in the four corners of an office. The fact is, today’s world is drastically changing along with the advancements of technology, so even if you are on the other side of the world and you need to earn a living, you need not to scratch your head and sigh at every moment of frustration as there are a lot of jobs for you. But you have to focalize and put your mind in colossal perspectives. You have to write and participate in conversations. Reinvent yourself, stop making excuses and putting the blame on others. Have some confidence, develop your people skills, and work on your character. Remember, when you are searching for a job, it’s like selling yourself to a pack of (picky) predators. Thought leadership is not a distant star nor is it a fish that’s easy to catch. The key is to sell yourself out there, pound the barriers that set the limits of your thoughts. Take your imagination in different horizons. Education is non-negotiable. You are responsible for your growth.

 

KNOW. LEARN. DO.

Keeping my Mouth Closed

How absurd it is. To think that not so long ago, I was in this same apparent horizon – the same roles are being played, the same plot of events, the same cloud on the horizon I can perceive but only different people are playing the roles. I have done my best to use my judgment based on logic and reason and I have listened and have also blurted out a few words but it is beyond redemption. This time, I am giving my subconscious a chance to speak up and be heard through silence.

I will just have to let time pass as it is the only way to compensate me for now, although I am not holding time responsible for this seethe nor am I dragging time to condemnation but time is my only ally now. It may be bad today but tomorrow will be better, I am looking forward to seeing the silver lining of a cloud. Meanwhile, I will indulge in the many creature comforts otherwise I’d be chasing pavements with the same look in my face, with anxieties and with an image of an epitome of disgruntlement that refuses to leave my head. I am keeping my mouth closed, I have a dog to watch.

A Moment of Void

Unfathomable surge of emotions

The night is burning

It seems hard to explain

Where is this coming from

I can only stare and hear

The passing cars

The bright lights

People’s fleeting faces

The radio

The collective sound made by vehicles

And suddenly I’m blank

…sinking into the depths of void

A Lost Ball in the High Weeds

I reach the office scatterbrained again. I sit, clear my head and open my PC. For a moment, I think of the various things that I need to accomplish for today. Suddenly, I remember the sad reality and my mind turns into a cantankerous pith briefly caused by my instant cognizance.  I feel like an idiot, asking myself the same set of questions. I take a deep breath and convince myself not to falter. I am keeping my composure otherwise I can always leave and stick out my tongue at you. Wheeeeeee

A lost ball in the high weeds, I pity you.

Where do We go from Here

I woke up at 6 in the morning today, unwillingly. Dragged myself to the washroom, took a cold shower, brushed my teeth and whatnot. I brushed my hair in the car and was too lazy to put on some make up. I slept the entire time on the way to work. I got out of the car whining and wanting some more sleep. I walked on the parking lot sluggishly and dragging my feet on 3-inch heels. I got on the elevator with my eyes closed. I reached the 8^th floor and was greeted by the guard “Good Morning Maam” and there I was struggling to smile as a form of response. I wasn’t mean nor was I a snob, just lazy and God knows how sleepy I was.

I got on my seat, turned on my computer as I pay respect to my everyday ritual which is to open my email firstly with a surge of hope that our erratic ISP won’t give us any trouble anymore. I opened my browser only to find out that today is not different to the previous days I was ranting and raving over intermittent and slow connectivity, not to mention the emails I have long been expecting which are long past due. I wished for coffee to magically appear in front of me, and save me from being scatterbrained.

I went to Starbucks with Tin, got my favorite grande brewed coffee and what do you know, sometimes I could just get lucky, I won another free coffee for the nth time. We walked back to the office. I stopped by at the bank to get my checkbook, as I was withdrawing money from the ATM machine, I witnessed a brief second of disaster. My Coffee cup slid off the flat surface of the ATM machine, and then I saw my coffee flowing freely on the floor. As soon as I got my checkbook, I decided to go back to Starbucks to get another cup of coffee.

I ordered another cup of brewed coffee and told the coffee master what happened and what do you know, he replaced my coffee for free. This is not advertising but I went out of the door with a big grin on my face. And, as yet, trying to avoid the word “deadline” in my head.

Confessions of a Shoe Addict

I was close to committing a crime, not the crime in your mind but I’m talking about – a lot of times lately, I’m almost close to succumbing in the whimsical indulgence of getting myself a beautiful pair of shoes, er no, I have to be honest not just a pair but all those I find beautiful rather and for me it is like committing a crime because I have made a rule to never spend my money on anything belonging to capricious indulgence. Furthermore I am strongly committed to being frugal as I have goals to achieve.

This is such a big sacrifice and I hope to reap the fruits of my saccharine sacrifice in time.  Good thing I managed to adhere to my rules and even as yet. I am trying my best not to regale the opposing yet beautiful thoughts I have because after all, it was me who made the rules and its me who can amend it. Do you know what I’m thinking? LOL And I’m afraid, I may not be as strong as you think I am but I’ll endure the pain of going home without a big bag of new boots or a calfskin high heel sandals. To think that there is a sale here and there.

Awww poor me.

Hushing

I have never felt this burn out in my entire life, yeah I know you would say – heck, what is new – whiner. But no. I am so burned out that sometimes I just let time slip, and most of the time, I have utterly no reaction on the surface but the massive thoughts in my head are all but quiet.

Make your lazy brain work.

OK, I need to keep my mouth shut.

Hushing

Monday = Indolence

My phone alarms every single day at 6 in the cockcrow, my eyes are half open I’m groggy and spurning to move. I reach for the phone to snooze it off. I rest my head on the pillow, close my eyes and as I drift off, unworried and heedless, I slumber the moment away.

I wake up, dazed and strongly expressing refusal to get up. And as I slowly gain lucidity, I reach for my phone to see the time and there dawning upon me is elapsed time – 4 hours have passed since I turned off the alarm. Unwillingly, I get up, sit on the bed while taking a deep breath, I get out of the room, walk languidly to the washroom and appease myself by my morning ritual. I go back to my room, sit on the bed, wishing that Sundays should be extended or to make it more heavenly, the constitution should mandate Mondays to be a nonworking holiday.  This is me on Mondays – physically indolent.

Today, however, is different. Willingly, I woke up on time. It’s a good day so far…

Choking Bile

Just when things are getting better, or so you thought, nefarious, down-at-heel hussies would loom impetuously like an edacious serpent lingering and camouflaging in the treacherous dark, ready to devour its prey in just a single wrong move. You know how it is to live and it is to survive every battle that life throws at you. Voracious Predators are always lurking around for ambuscade, leaving the weakest lifeless or if you are lucky enough, you get to witness a morbidly, terrifying moment of your life and its either you run or you fight. They say that all things come to an end, for a moment you are happy and blissful next thing you know it was all just a glimpse and then you find yourself either running or fighting again.

Even the most priceless of your possession, at one moment you thought you have gotten a tenacious grip of it but in a blink of an eye these loathsome serpents would steal it from you. You do your best to be rational so you can fight hard and set away the sea of emotions that immensely decapitating you because once it get the better of you, you can do nothing but wishful thinking.

I dont know if I make sense…or am I just blabbering. I really need to vent after all. This is like choking an enormous lump of bile…yeah yeah yeah, if assholes have wings everyone is flying. You don’t have to conceal your deranged self in disguise…I’ll get you….I fight…