The Sun Shines Brightest After a Storm

What a joy it is! Looking out the door and the sun shining at the apparent horizon. Many of us have been constantly praying for the sun to shine amid the the two devastating typhoons that visited us and displaced thousands of our beloved countrymen, not to mention the lives it took in such a brief period of time. The wind is blowing gently and the sun is bright, it reminds me that we can now take out our laundry and have it dried under the sun’s spell.

Bad things happen, it is elemental in life. For those who were affected, yes it is hard to move on and to start all over again. You had moments of distress, you saw life taking its toll on you, everything you have worked hard for vanished at an instant with all the gushing waters but today is a brand new day – a perfect time to be thankful and to celebrate life, that through it all you are still here. To be in your own world, free. This moment might not last but it doesn’t matter. What is important is to experience everything in life, the struggles and the mournfulness and the giddying triumphs.

And if you work really hard again and believe in yourself and you are willing to experience pain and fear, you might just get lucky again and have a moment like this – the sun shines brightest after a storm. Anything could happen in life, anything could happen to anyone regardless of who you are and sometimes it is good but you just have to believe that it could happen to you.

Happy Birthday To Me

Please be warned that some of the words/statement in this entry is peculiar to itself grammatically or cannot be understood from the individual meanings of its elements. In short, I am using a style of expression characteristic of the scenario I have today. If you don’t get it, just let me know.

Today is my day, unfortunately I’m not feeling good in a “motivated way” so I refused to enter in the four corners of my pit as I am seeing a grandeur of plague that will soon ingest me, leaving me helpless and galloping in a maze of one pit to another. This day is to my self and to whoever I choose to spend it with. I am sensing a deep-seated ideological divergence and skepticism, I have no room for that kind of heat today so I’m getting out of the kitchen. I will leave it to the rest of the skeptic scholars, they are gifted with the highest abilities of the human mind which therefore brought me to conclude that the floor is theirs to swarm with collective vengeance and scrutiny finding their own allies in wonderland. Meanwhile, I am keeping my arrogant mouth shut.

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I wish for nothing but great Health for all of us especially Aldolito and for God to keep our families together at all times. I will not ask for any extravagant gift as I have received the most wonderful gift one can ever have. A sound mind and body will be more than enough and an undying wisdom to live through for eternity.

A WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Cheers!

…….Continuation

We woke up early on Day 7. We went to Mambucal Mountain Resort located at Murcia Negros Occidental for an overnight stay. We had so much fun watching the fruit bats hanging on the tree branches that if you look from afar, they look like unrecognizable fruits. It was gruesomely beautiful. We visited the butterfly farm and saw the different species of butterfly, it was amazing. We also had boat riding in the boating lagoon and hiked the mountain to visit the 7 falls. It was strenous but the breathtaking views were all worth it. The clan never dared to take a plunge at the freezing cold swimming pool but I did for a little while. It was mind blowing so I decided to take a rinse of hot shower after 10 minutes, then we played domino after dinner.

 

We woke up the next morning with the obscure sunshine trying to fight the overcast so he can shine unrestrainedly. We drove to Don Salvador Benedicto to visit Pandanon Resort but we decided to head back the opposite direction as it was too stiff to drive there. The mountainous way prevented us from going there. We opted to take a drive to the lands of Northern Negros instead. We drove all the way to Cadiz City to buy some dried fish, etc. as they are well renowned as the dried fish (tuyo) capital of Negros but due to the bad weather and excessive rains, prices were staggering high and not a lot of products to choose from. We stopped by at Merci Breadshop for a round of siopao for lunch, it was funny. As we were heading back home, a very unfortunate event has happened. Our car broke down along the highway and we were merely 2 hours away from the city. If you look to your left, you can see nothing but a plantation of sugarcane and to your right is the same. My mom immediately called her mechanic, so we opted to ride the bus and they stayed there to wait for the mechanic to rescue them.

 

Day 9 was pretty sluggish, we took a plunge at Sta. fe in the morning. We then went to the office of my house developer to finish all the papers and requirements that they need from me. Evening came and we met Cel for a fabulous and sumptuos dinner at Bar 21 along Lacson St. We had a succulent steak and a delightful mango shake. After dinner, we went to Starbucks to meet my college friend Mayen and my cousin. After a brief moment of talking and catching up with our busy lives we then went to Mushu for some wine and good music.

 

We spent day 10 on packing and buying stuff for pasalubong. Evening came and it was time to take our flight back to Manila. It was a scary flight. We had turbulence every minute, it was as if the plane would crash down anytime and it made me pray. It really scared the hell out of me, I was holding Aldolito’s hand the entire time. By the time the pilot announced our arrival, my spirit perked up like hell. I think I’m not going to fly anywhere, anytime soon LOL.

 

To sum up everything, it wasn’t a grand vacation nor an extravagant one, it was fun nevertheless. I was able to see my family and some of my old buddies. It was just sad because I wasnt able to attend our Highschool reunion party as they held it on an earlier date and I havent seen some of my friends due to some conflict with time and place. And we were not able to visit a lot of places because the weather was bad. But I am definitely going back there in the summer or maybe October for the Mascarra Festival.

Starting the Year Right in Bacolod City

They say that as you face the new year, you have to start it right so I started mine with a nice vacation to my beloved hometown the city of SUGARLANDIA – Bacolod City which is renowned as the city of smiles because of the colorful and spectacle parade of smiling masks every second week of October commemorating the festivity of the city. We had a peaceful flight on the way to Bacolod but my heart was a little sad leaving my Cheebah behind for merely 10 days. Upon arrival, I was amazed with the new Bacolod airport protruding amid the mountain range of Northern Negros and the vast land of sugarcane haciendas. It was great seeing my family picking us up at the new airport. Newly built structures are evidently rising in Bacolod including the costly starbucks. We went straight home to unload our things. My mom cooked an Ilonggo style nilaga (beef with young jackfruit, batwan and tanglad) for lunch, Teejay loved it.

Day 1 was spent at Uma Cafe beside L’Fisher Hotel, we had a fabulous dinner with Cell – Teejay’s former officemate who happened to be an Ilonggo also. Uma Cafe’s pizza and pasta are to die for. Their espresso based drinks are also great combined with a tiny piyaya that is great with a big cup of cappuccino best served with muscovado sugar. All in All it was a delectable treat. We then went to Majj at Mayfair Plaza where we expressed our whiny demons through a delicious red wine and a delightful platter of buffalo wings. Had a few great laughs while our spirits are surreptitiously dancing in the sound of house music. My place is located in the suburbs so it’s not advisable to travel late at night so we checked in at Business Inn located at the heart of the city. It’s an inexpensive hotel that offers a good comfortable sleep and a lounge that shows a live band at night while you are sipping a highly delectable Kansi (bulalo).

We had lunch at Lions Park restaurant on day 2 with my cousin and sister. Relax though, as it is not a literal Lions Park. For me, they have the best Inasal in town. We feasted on Chicken Inasal (pecho – breast, paa – legs, baticulon – gizzard) and a bowl of fresh oysters best served with tangy and spicy sinamak (vinegar with chili). We have enjoyed every second of it. We then went to SM City for a little shopping and came back to the hotel for a power nap. Evening came and we went to Pendys for coffee and chocolate cake. We then went to Pala Pala, it’s a local seafood market where you can haggle for fresh catch of the ocean and have it cooked by the restaurant. It’s just an array of nipa huts that doesn’t resemble any ostentatious design nor an elaborate facade but the way they cook the Tinola nga Isda (Sinigang na isda – boiled fish) is to die for, with unique ingredients only famous in the islands of Visayas. We had Sinigang na manumbok, half a kilo of buttered prawns and half a kilo of grilled native squid. We only paid Php 750 for everything. We then went back to the hotel lounge with a full stomach. We watched the live acoustic band, had some tea and relaxed with the gentle pour of the rain.

We checked out from the hotel on Day 3, we spent the rest of the day at our store in the market as it was the concluding day of the year which means, it’s the busiest day for our store. We helped my mom at the store, Aldolito enjoyed selling fruits and toys and taking random pictures at the same time. We had lechon (roasted pig) for lunch. We went home late afternoon watched some dvd and waited for the new year to come. As the first hour of the first day of the new year came, we went out to watch the festive lights of the fireworks. We then feasted on lechon manok and fruits as our media noche. we didn’t prepare any special food as all of us were dead tired, it was fun nevertheless.

Day 4 was filled with adventure, want to know why? We had breakfast at Pala Pala once again. We then went to a place called The Ruins in Talisay.“The structure of The Ruins is of Italianate architecture with neo-Romanesque columns, having a very close semblance to the facade of Carnegie Hall in New York City.

The mansion was built in the early 1900’s by the sugar baron, Don Mariano Ledesma Lacson (1865-1948) and was home to his unmarried children with his first wife, Maria Braga Lacson (+1911), a Portuguese from Macau. The mansion was the largest residential structure ever built at that time and had in it one of the finest furnitures, chinawares, and decorative items, as the father of the Maria Braga was a captain of a ship that sailed across Europe and Asia and would cart with him these items. One of their daughters maintained a beautiful garden of lilies in and around the 4-tiered fountain fronting the mansion, all brought in from abroad.

One of the sons supervised the construction of the mansion making certain that the A-grade mixture of concrete and its pouring was precisely followed.

The mansion met its sad fate in the early part of World War II (1942) when the USAFFE (United States Armed Forces in the Far East), then the guerilla fighters in the Philippines, burnt the mansion to prevent the Japanese forces from utilizing it as their headquarters. It took days of inferno to bring down the roof and the two-inch wooden floors.

To this day, the 903 square meter structure still stands tall amidst sugar plantation and continues to awe both local and foreign tourists. Truly, a picture-perfect backdrop and a magnificent sight to see.” We made a little joke while we were on our way to see The Ruins, Aldolito said that it is only right to call it The Ruins because you’ll get ruined as you enter the road that leads you to the place. It’s a long, narrow, unpaved and undeveloped road that made our ride downright bumpy. But once you get there, you will be amazed and say to yourself that its all worth it. After taking numerous pictures, we then went to Silay to see the heritage houses and had lunch at Manokan Country and went striaght to SM City. As we were strolling down the mall, we decided to watch Ang Tanging Ina Niyong Lahat.

Day 5, we had coffee at Cafe Uma and took advantage of the free wifi brought by the nearby L’Fisher Hotel. We headed to Goldenfileds Commercial Complex to have some Kansi for Dinner – our very own version of bulalo. After a brief greasy dinner, we then went to MO2 to see my friend Cynthia. We had a few drinks, watched the live acoustic band and had a run-of-the-mill talk with Cynthia. It was nice seeing college friends like her still kicking it in the city. We ended the night at McCafe for a cup of coffee and a chocolate cake.

Day 6, we had lunch at Chicken House in Singkang for a different taste of Inasal. We then crossed the street and bought some fresh piyaya for dessert and drove around town for sight seeing. Evening came and we stopped by at Robinsons place and had a nice hot chocolate and some muffins. We then went to the supermarket, grabbed some pringles, breads and doritos and headed back home for a fun evening. We had chicken tinola for dinner and it was very satisfying.

To be continued…….

Making Peace with the Past, Aha at Last

Its 12:44 AM, on the concluding day of 2008, I’m sitting here idly in our hotel room. Before the year ends I must take time to write an excerpt of the bitter sweet hodgepodge that took place this year. It is rather a year of retribution, and transcendental reflection that made me experience life in the brink of uncertainty, decrepitude, felicity and even hell itself. It was a journey from utter misery to nirvana – the ambuscade of life uncovered with a vengeance which resulted to a series of unforeseen epiphanies that made a significant change and a palpable impact in my life.

The year started with remarkable blessings, we are now certified homeowners – a goal we never deemed to achieve that early. Our clientele seemed to have grown progressively this year. A lot has been accomplished, dollars kept on coming, and we bought things to satisfy our arbitrary indulgence. I met some people who have somehow vexed me, to the point that I had to run away and cease on  getting involved on whatever with them but gained a few great ones seeming worthy to keep for long through good times and bad.

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………continuation, I started writing this entry on the 31st of December due to limited internet connection from my stormy vacation but I am finishing it today january 8th 2009.

2008 was definitely the most tremulous year of my life. I was stomped to hell, shaken vigorouosly from head to toe, I was dazed, bewildered, helpless, wandering, sobbing, seeking for refuge, filled with utter misery. I was in a deadly maze and a labyrinth of distress perforated every inch of me, it came in bolt, it was fierce and extremely painful. I couldn’t see anything but utter darkness. Seeing him lying on the hospital bed was like standing on the precipice and any minute can turn into a deadly dysphoria, when I look down I can see nothing but pitch-black abyss waiting to swallow me and erase my brief existence leaving no clue but when I look up, I can see a very little light, there I see him standing, the silhoutte of his face ignited a spark of hope. I reached out my hand to touch him, screaming at him to stay with me for eternity and to never lose his grip to that little light that makes him visible from the precipice where I’m standing.

I prayed with all the saints and Virgin Mary, I prayed with my loudest voice hoping that God would render his marvelous mercy on him, that he will make him stay with me for eternity. I woke up one morning anxious to see the light, I walked and peeped through the glass door of the room and there I saw his beautiful face. God concluded my dysphoria. I was brought to heaven and my sun recrudesced and shone to light all the darkness I saw. Life comes with infinite enigma and could be a real bitch sometimes but God is the greatest and he is the owner of this so called life. Miracles happen, indeed.

I ended the year with a new job, a curly hair, a set of new friends and happiness with Aldolito. I’m starting 2009 with a fabulous vacation, new set of significant goals to plan and an invincible hope to face everything come hell or high water. I am living my life full to the brim, welcome 2009. Make more room for travel, leisure and anything suggesting fun and extravagance. And a firm conviction that I represent no one but me, myself and I and I am not answerable to anyone but to myself and my God which means haters keep on hating. My grief is mine, my misfortune is mine, my money is mine, my happiness is mine, my wisdom is mine which is tantamount to whatever I have is mine so zip your filthy arrogant mouth, whatever grudges or opinions that you may have, keep them to your lousy depreciating self. I am laughing my ass off to the ground. WOOHOO!

Have a Glorious New year!

Difficult Times Always Lead to Better Days

For the past months that I’ve been screaming bloody murder, I’m not a hater nor am I fond of tittle-tattle, you can rely on that. However, the most unpleasant and roughest aspect of life have been thrown at me lately, from the constant battle over indecisiveness and vexation in my career; the struggle I’ve had over personal issues that I wish to impart with you but I choose not, its for the best nonetheless; the inevitable changes and ordeals that my family has faced; and most of all, TJ’s infirmity that affrighted us all and the multitude of possibilities it may induce; it’s as if I’ve been dashed all the way to the nether where frightening monsters that you can never imagine, lurk and just by seeing them, fear subjugates and kills you. Surely, I’ve made a lot of deep breaths whilst convincing myself that I’ll get through it, and that it’s just one of those hard times that life constantly throws at me and I have to resolutely face it with all my strength and vigor. After all, this is my very own battle and at the end of the day, it’s not just about winning but how I fought and withstood everything come hell or high water.

Of all the things that has happened, I have every reason in the world to be grateful. I am very grateful to my mom that she brought me up with compassion and ethics based upon actual evidences and not on firm conviction; for evangelizing the teachings of God and for obliging me to go to the church together with the entire family as I don’t see it being practiced by most families nowadays, and I’ve seen the great importance of it in people’s lives; for teaching me to be firm and to not be afraid of taking the road less traveled, I wouldn’t be here where I am today if it wasn’t for her. I have learned that variety is the spice of life, you should not bound yourself on one principle just because everyone else is adhering to it. Things are not mainly black or white, open your eyes and give way to iridescence. My offbeat personality has put me in a different plane where I can see vividly that our evanescent life is made more interesting by doing new or different things.

I have wanted a big change in my life and now it is there laid out for me. There are good avenues and there are bad ones but I am embracing them, as I know God has reasons of his own for giving them to me. I would like to share with you the good changes I am facing now, the bad ones however, it’s best if I keep them to myself. Finally, the search is over, I am resigning from my present job, the endless whining and exasperation have finally come to an end. The good thing is, if I wouldn’t have landed this job I wouldn’t have discovered the dormant skills which laid, all the while within me. I shall embark on a new beginning in December as I start with my new job, surely, there will be endless office toil but my fingers are crossed and I hope yours are too. After all, I have saved up a fair amount of maturity and substance and I hope they are enough to aid me face the bigger responsibilities bestowed for me. Career wise, I’m on the threshold of a new horizon where my dreams emanate. Tj is doing great and I hope he remains like that for eternity.  So you see, every cloud has a silver lining.

Manic Yesterday

I stood up from my workstation at 6:55 PM last night and walked to the computer where the logs are gathered I typed in my ID and hit LOG OUT and then to my utter disbelief I stared at the computer once again to make sure I have typed the correct ID, and yes it is correct but the error was still there showing idly “YOU CAN’T LOG OUT BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT LOGGED IN”. Do you know what does this mean? It means that I have to file for my timesheet and have it approved from my two superiors and subsequently forward it to HR for another approval – approval from HR will take a minimum of three emails just to make a follow up, if I won’t bug them and get on their nerves they will never take any immediate action. I remember I have forwarded this exact message for three times just so I could get a response “Please let me know if my timesheet has been approved”. So sick sick sick. I’m starting to think that their previous jobs are from a filthy government office where they do nothing but chitchat and wait for lunchtime so they can sleep, pick their noses or whatever the hell do they indulge their pathetic selves, GOSH!

 

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After a brief episode of vexation, I got out of the building and walked to Greenbelt 3 or 4 Oh I’m not sure lol, Greenbelt can be confusing sometimes I can hardly identify 3 from 4, although I’m pretty sure its just me who is having this difficulty. Anyway. I entered Abenson Avant and looked for a new set of headphones and mic as I need it pretty badly. WHY? Because. There are a lot of odd things that have happened lately particularly in my family. My long lost cousin has shockingly contacted everyone in the family, well she’s not really lost its just that she had lose touch to each and everyone of us a long time ago like I say maybe 3 -4 years back, i’m not sure if its long enough although it seems to me that it was a long long time ago because it feels like it, sometimes people can make you feel like this – the last time you have spoke to each other was like 3 years ago but to you it feels like centuries. Anyway. Knowing her, she’s not internet savvy nor deeply anxious to whatever is happening to the family but shockingly and suddenly she is concerned. I got an email from her saying that she has a webcam and a mic and she is ready to talk via yahoo messenger if I have the time. For three consecutive days until today we’ve been talking day and night; so now you know why I had to get that mic set. Another thing is, just when I was thinking about possible ways on how to make more money BOOM!!! the answer is laid out on me in a form of an email once again – one of my previous clients contacted me and offered me another writing, translation and podcasting freelance work. So thats another reason why I needed the mic set. GOD IS GREAT INDEED.

 

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Going back to Abensons Avant. After testing my fabulous mic set, I hurriedly got my receipt and hit off the door. As I walked through the door, I was busy responding to Garnet’s message, we were supposed to go to the church together but he has this habit of changing his mind at the very last minute everytime arrrrgggggggh….I was walking parallel to BodyShop which is the second store next to Abensons Avant when I suddenly remembered that the guard from Abensons Avant politely bade “Thank You Maam” when I darted at the door. I realized, my behavior was utterly not acceptable and it was very mean of me not to even consider on acknowledging his amiable way of courtesy in a form of a response to “Thank You” which is “You’re Welcome” or if I was too busy I should’ve just gave him a smile, after all, he’s been standing there for nearly 9 hours just for a little consolation of a minimum wage. For the first time in my life that I felt so bad like that, although that was not the first time that I have ignored someone like him I’ve been doing it to anyone who wishes me courtesy when I hit off the door of a store or a mall. Today however and onwards; I know what to do.

Beyond Infirmity

The ephemeral beings that we are, life is indeed full of surprises, in a blink of an eye, in a fraction of a second, in a twist of our body while sleeping, in a droplet of sweat we shed, in a single word that we blurt, in just a step we take or in any mundane activity that we do regardless of time and place, infirmity can usurp and imbibes the life out of us; destroys us in a constant moment of disquietude and grief and the only being that we can depend on is the almighty and divine who created us. It is in time of infirmity that we take a moment to call God, our families and friends are gathered in one thought diffusing our silent reveries in a form of prayer – a poignant thing that even in solemn silence or solitude can be heard by our most reverent God.

In the recent tribulation that we have went through, fear subjugated us and it tested our resiliency and faith in God transcendently. The languid days of pungent rumination and distress formidably perforated our hearts and our minds, slowly shattered our imperturbability. But our downright faith in God has saved us all from this tragic epitome of evanescent life that we have in this enigmatic macrocosm.

Indeed faith can move mountains and prayers can create miracles. Have faith in God, learn how to pray and soon you will find the answers in the conundrums you face. Everything happens for a reason and only God knows what is best for all of us, so trust God with absolute magnanimity.

To God be the Glory!

Thank you Lord God for everything.

P.S.

We are getting out of the hospital today and we are looking forward for a future filled with vivacity and from this moment onwards God is the center of our cosmos and we will remain invincible.

GRATITUDE

I would say that this could be a continuation of the entry I have written heretofore. It’s been almost two weeks that I havent reported for work as most of you know especially the right people whom I confide with, that Aldolito is in the hospital. I’ve mentioned in my previous entry that Aldolito had dreadful headaches for the past weeks then came Sunday 21st of September when something consternating has happened to Aldolito. Forgive me if I choose not to give you the entire details of what has happened but we all want to move on and with this little note, I want to impart with you my deepest gratitude and epiphany in the series of rather hasty events that heretofore, I still can not fathom reality from irreality, the languid tick of the clock has prostrated my equanimity, if this is just a horrendous nightmare, I wish for you to wake me up and bring me back to reality. I’ve asked for divine questions and searched for divine answers to no avail – but God in his providence and omnipotence has helped me surmount the tenebrific times.

If you ask me where I am now, I’m pretty sure that I’m in the middle of rapture and agony. I am glad and grateful that my magnanimous God has heard all our prayers, I know that this is just a test and we all have to be stalwart and resilient to face everything with absolute faith in God.

To all of you who prayed for Aldolito, THANK YOU SO MUCH. Our most reverent and benevolent God will surely grant you his grace. Thank you all for the support and prayers you have bestowed for him, your utmost care and munificence are greatly appreciated. Please extend my deepest gratitude to all of you, let us all continue to pray for his absolute recovery and wellness. PRAISE GOD!

Unselfish and noble actions are the most radiant pages in the biography of souls.  ~David Thomas

I believe in prayer.  It’s the best way we have to draw strength from heaven.  ~Josephine Baker

The Incessant Quest for Glory

There are people who are simply assiduous in making a diary, recording every tiny detail of events in their lives. I am not in the habit of recording everything that is happening in my life, the best way however, for me to take a glimpse of the past is through my mind. Yes my arcane mind. There are times when I need to look back in the past to somehow unravel the connection of events or perhaps for self-dicovery if not finding for answers in the conundrums I face everyday. I have compartmentalized my mind in such a way that there is this virtual space I have inconspicuously spared, only to subsume the realm of events in my life.

Every day there are questions left unanswered and every time we turn around we ask ourselves “why is this happening?” “why am I in this situation?” then we would ceaselessly seek for answers; we would try to look back, what happened in the past; what decisions have we made which brought us to where we are now. Then we would either have regrets (talking about the things we shoulda, woulda, coulda done) if faced with seamy side of life or we move on and learn. I strongly believe that we learn best from the school of hard knocks. Every choice, every decision and every event in our lives connect to who we are now and what we will be. Everything happens for a reason, eventually if not soon, we will experience epiphany which will lead us to solve the many afflictive mysteries of life. We may not understand what the reasons are at this moment, tomorrow however or even at a later time will make us see life in a different plane.

We are torn between good and evil but we have a gift of free will that gives us the power to choose. Our main avenue is to grow. We are here for a purpose; to love, to dream, to live life, to make mistakes, to learn, to forgive others, and to forgive ourselves. The quintessence of our existence is the incessant quest for glory – the splendor of heaven; perfect happiness that even in the realms of ambiguities, cataclysm, insurgencies, and failures we remain stalwart, learn from our mistakes and never cease the quest for glory.

GLORY GLORY GLORY – I will be here, I will search for you in every which way and in every nook and cranny of this nebulous macrocosm.